MARIA

The last days I have met many different women, all of them fascinated me with their stories. It seems to me that women can bear so much of everything and see it as natural. Today I want to tell you about Maria:
She is an old lady that I massage sometimes; she is 88 years old, she was born the same year that females were given the right to vote in Sweden. Old pictures show a drop-dead-gorgeous woman, the woman I touch and listen to looks like any old woman - there is only a slight hint of her youthful beauty. What is striking are her eyes; they carry all the wisdom, joy and pain of a lifetime. She has had a hard life, this woman. She has known the biggest and truest love, given birth only to lose her child, danced and made love through the night, nursed her ailing husband. When she was young, she broke her hips but would not give up wearing pretty high-heeled shoes - no matter how much pain she sometimes experienced. She is animated when she speaks, her eyes glow, her cheeks turn pink. She is excited about the liberty women have today, and worried about how they sometimes use it.
Womens right is the result of generations' struggle for existence, acceptance and freedom. The freedom women experience today is something women once died for. (Not much different from the war against apartheid.) We must never forget what went before that what we take for granted. All the little old wrinkled ladies around us helped pave the road for us, and they should all be honoured and respected.

Wikipedia says:

Voting rights for women were introduced into international law in 1948 when the UN adopted the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. As stated in Article 21 “(1)Everyone has the right to take part in the government of his country, directly or through freely chosen representatives. (3)The will of the people shall be the basis of the authority of government; this will shall be expressed in periodic and genuine elections which shall be by universal and equal suffrage and shall be held by secret vote or by equivalent free voting procedures.”

Women’s suffrage is also explicitly stated as a right under the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women, adopted by the United Nations in 1979.

Agelessness

The pressure is on! Tuck your tummy, sagging breasts? - fill 'em up. Crows feet, sagging jowls...? - tighten, stretch, vanish. Plump up, play down. Stay 20 forever and ever and ever...It is easy, available, done and expected. How can you NOT? I suppose my aging, 4-times-mom, saggy and wrinkled self draws more stares of concern than if it was "done-over"...hahaha
BUT, I can grow old, looking eternally (at least partly) young, suffering through pain and debilitation because of bad habits or laziness.

NOT ME! I am growing old with all what it entails, I fight to not succumb to the pipe-dream and concentrate on keeping what I have in fabulous working order. When I am truly old, I shall be the fastest rocking mama on this planet, shaking my wrinkled booty in time with the beat.

Check this out:

Nourishment

We need to take a look at how and what we are eating. So many people who come to me - slightly desperate, are often malnourished. Isn't it amazing how many people are overweight and obese, have problems with; concentration, sleep, hormones, digestion, emotions...the list goes on forever. I have been watching this development for 20 years. It took me some time to realize that much of it is connected to foods and eating-habits. "We are what we eat" doesn't mean that we become pigs for eating pork, it is more about health and balance. Our bodies are extremely well-developed constructions, able to adapt to almost anything. (I believe the only other species that do this are rats and cockroaches...what can I say...)
Anyway, our bodies have certain needs, and they are quite simple; oxygene, water and nourishment...these three govern everything. Now this is all polluted, and we thrive anyways. Our bodies find ways to handle the toxins that come into our systems - to a certain point. When the amount of toxins become to large, the body slowly starts breaking down. And with body is included the brain = emotions, memory, hormones, concentration, learning...the list is vast. So much of the food people eat today is full of chemicals that are bad or outright dangerous. Much foods have no nutritious value at all. Many people don't even know how to cook a simple meal.
Check out this video on additives in foodstuffs and tell me if you are prepared to feed this to yourself and your children.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPvIZxJHyeY

Charitability

Why is generosity so widely spoken of around Christmas and then forgotten? People tend to be more generous with their charitability around Christmas. Maybe they have a bad conscience about all the money spent on (honestly!) ridiculous things? Expensive ridiculous things, I might add. So a bit of the green goes to somebody needy; a person on the street, a Santa collecting for Ethiopia. I think it is usually a spur-on-the-moment thing during shopping. x100Euros in the shoppingmall, some coins for Burundi.

"Generosity elevates us all"

Yes, such an easy way to feel good about yourself. But true generosity doesn't happen only around Christmas, it is there all year around. And it is not always about giving some of your hard-earned cash. Sometimes it is a deed or a thought or time. Next time that old person starts talking to you while you are waiting, don't walk away - stop and listen. That is charity. You might have made his/hers lonely day a little bit brighter. Next time your friend calls you in sadness, stop and listen. Give yourself and everybody else a little bit of time. Take time to experience. Stop and see the smile of gratitude on the lady's face when you helped her with her bag. (Actually, stop and help her with the bag) Stop and see the joy in an old man's face because you gave him a smile. Stop and watch the world around you, show your children how to be charitable by being it yourself. Charitability and kindness is infectious, it carries much further than one simple act, and each simple act creates a never-ending flow of simple acts.

Time

Time must be the trickiest player of all. It has a life and a will of its own. We measure it, control it, decide over it and plan it...but it doesn't function that way, does it?
When we are waiting or unhappy or in pain time slows down to a barely noticable crawl. Even if we try to fill the time with things to do, it doesn't go any faster, but we get more done in this time than would seem normally possible.
When we are in a hurry, stressed, excited or having fun...time flies. Before we know it the time is up and we hardly got started.
I have spent 1 and a half day in a time-crawl because I was sad and angry. At one point I couldn't stand it anymore and decided to let it go since I could do nothing about it. It was anyway out of my control. The second I made the decision, time started going back to normal (not fast, just normal) and I got through the long horrific day without too much pain.
I don't know if I am as good at slowing down time. When I enjoy something/someone I am so constantly and fully in the moment, so time somehow ceases to matter.

So what does this mean? Time is the one thing we are really agreed on that it is controlled, and we find that it is not. So don't ever think that there is such a thing as control. Go with the flow, loosen up and allow yourself to be all there. Remember....time flies...

Unconditional love

I love very strongly. I don't expect much in return, but I do expect respect. That is not as simple as it seems. I know a man who spoke to me of unconditional love. For me it is about accepting another person as they are. Of sharing love, confidences and truths or beliefs, also sad or hard times. To my friend unconditional love means freedom to do, think and act as one pleases and as long as one does not aim to hurt, there is no responsibility for anyone but the self. If someone else gets hurt along the way - tough shit, their problem.
I love very much. Each person, just like myself, carries something screwy in their character. I can see it and I respect it. It might not be pleasing to me, but it is part of the person whom I love. It would be so easy if you could love only the "right" person. I always try to understand no matter how hard it seems sometimes; I have been screamed at, abused and hurt, still I stay - not because I am a fool or a looser, but because I am a winner, the one who has the guts to transgress. Only a fool will not accept love.
Yes, it is hurtful to be on the receiving end, but it may also be a lesson in character. If you speak anything that does not fit the picture, you are cast out and if you love deeply this might be very painful. But then again, if you are not allowed to voice your worries or fears....are you then really loved? If you are gagged by fear of loss, do you feel loved? The one who says you matter should be able to hold you in their arms for a while until whatever unrest has passed. Parent to child, lover to lover, friend to friend. And if this is not so, at the end of the day, it might be better to face the pain than allow yourself being controlled by another being. Allow the healing tears to fall and know that you are worth more...and that at one point this will come.