Sunday, June 14, 2009

Doors


Helen Keller said: "When one door closes, another one opens" which is absolutely true. The problem is that we tend to watch the closed door forever and totally miss the open door (new opportunity) behind us.

This is also true physically; if there is pressure in a space and one door is closed, the pressure will cause the other door to open.
On the other hand; if you have 2 doors open at the same time, the draught will cause one of the doors to close.
Meaning; if you have too many options, some will automatically shut down because you can't pursue them all. Maybe the door that closed was one you wanted open, but if it is not for you to step through that specific doorway, it will not stay open.
We choose our paths on more than one level; our conscious mind with all its programmings and short-comings, and our super-conscious, liberated from programmings. When super-conscious steers us, we don't know what is going on and often we even feel that we are not choosing. It could steer us in a direction that we would never, ever have chosen from consciousness. And it always turns out alright - if we allow it.

Ambres is a genie from old Egypt. He is a very wise soul who visits our time with his teachings. Once he said: "You all walk backwards into the future, re-acting on everything that happens to you. Therefore there is no growth and no vitality."
Meaning: By re-acting on everything we are labelling every action with something that went before; our preconcieved notions. We go straight to the archive of our experiences and pull out the one that best fits the present situation, and by this we then judge it. What we need to learn is to act on every new impulse, allowing it to show us the way into the future. It might look like something we know, but appearances are decieving. Children act like this all the time, they are constantly in the moment, allowing themselves to be guided into the future by completely being in the experience. This is what we should be looking for.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Sisters, ladies, women


My friends are ill, my beautiful, funny, strong and loving women. In a short time 3 of my friends have been diagnosed with illnesses in their female parts; the most female of womanhood. They are all sisters, mothers, lovers and daughters, they are important people. These women learn fear overnight. From one day to another without any warning they are staring death in the face...they have done nothing wrong and they are wondering why this is happening to them. Petty everyday worries become insignificant, that which was taken for granted becomes glorious luxury...everything changes.
The women are there, facing major surgery with no guarantees...my ladies...my sisters...my beautiful strong and helping friends. People so important to me that I hurt inside for them - and me, it is so difficult to stand by in helpless silence. But at the hospital today I realized that I can do something; I can love and hug and giggle and be frivolously ridiculous, for a moment I can bring childish merriment into the suffering and ease it a bit. I do not understand what these women go through - I have not been there. But I do know fear and stress and anger and the horrible sense of futility. I can change nothing and I can save nobody - but for a blissful little while I can bring amusement and love and hopefully a momentary relief from the horror of it all.

When I see my sisters smile my heart grows. Ladies; I love you so much and you are so brave. I am always with you...when you hear a silly giggle...that's me.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Britains got talent




Susan Boyle is plain, fat, badly dressed and 47 years old!!! Aaarghh, what a horror. Everybody laughs at her, they shake their heads - not with pity - with anger that this person would ever dare invade the space. The comments thrown at her are so nasty and rude it takes your breath away. And she stands there, does a little spin with her hips (which upsets everybody) and says cheekily that she wants to be a star. They hate her. Susan Boyle is totally vulnerable; alone on stage about to sing while all this negative energy and snickering is directed at her.
And then she sings - with the voice of an angel - strong and clear, unwavering in the face of adversity. Thus is she transformed - she becomes beautiful, strong, passionate, attractive - and everybody loves her.

Watching the clip had me breathless with shock and anger at the way Susan Boyle was recieved and spoken to by the judges, both before and after her performance. They actually say that they were stunned by her performance...because she was ugly and old they had expected her to make a fool of herself.

How did society and mankind get to this point? Who said you need to be beautiful, young or sexy to have talent? There are tons of untalented beautiful people out there performing and showing of their sorry shortcomings. Who wants to listen to a beautiful girl sounding horrid when you can hear such singing as that of Susan Boyle.

I am angry. I don't see the beauty in this happening at all...I see only shame. And I am so impressed by Susan Boyle, not only for her singing, but for her courage and strength.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Joy of my Heart


Sometimes I am touched by the greatest love in the Universe; it washes over me like a wave, powerful and strong. This occurs at unexpected moments, at times when I am doing the most mundane, sometimes even boring, things.
Usually it is brought on by visions in my head of somebody loved, most often my children. One small vision pops up and it opens up a torrent of images; vivid and real. I am filled with such love and gratitude which makes me truly believe that I am one of the luckiest people in the world. These moments of all-encompassing breathless emotions are worth every second of fear, insecurity and pain. This is the ultimate reason for being.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Professional traffic


Professional traffic is normally taxis, buses, lorries and delivery-vans. In Luxembourg professional traffic includes (in a very major way) tractors and any other kind of driven farm-equipment such as a lorry full of cows taken out to the fields. (Sometimes it might also be a bunch of cows being walked home for milking.)

The other day I was driving down one of the unsigned country-lanes that criss-crosses Luxembourg when I got stuck behind a tractor = professional traffic. These country-lanes are very narrow and barely paved, so to pass another vehicle entails going a bit off the road. Usually this is no problem for tractors. Some farmers are wonderful and facilitate your passing in a very expedient manner, others consider you to be an impostor on their turf, making sure that you stay behind them for the duration of their ride which, admittedly, is their right on a hardly-used country-lane used mainly by farmers.

The one I got stuck behind didn't even know I was there. His decrepit old tractor was held together (I am sure) with chewing-gum and string. It lacked lights and rear-view mirrors. The man in it was as old and decreptit as the tractor, half-hidden under a old stained feodora. Steadfastly he puttered on in 24km/hour downhill, 20km/hr on flat road. Going up the hill I was afraid he might start rolling backwards and dump his load of manure on me, that is how slow he was. After quite a while of this I started signalling that I wanted to pass by honking my horn. It resulted only in the realisation that the man was stone-deaf. So there I crawled in a speed almost slower than my first gear, km after km until he drove off onto a field to dump his load of manure. I passed him and he was so busy that he didn't even see me. He never knew I was there.

This amused me for days. I could only love this old farmer, so slow and decrepit in a land of speed, flashiness and busy appointments.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Signs?


Yesterday was beautifully sunny and nice. The air was warm against my skin...oh, I love that! For the first time since last summer I felt this joyful urge to work in the garden; mainly clearing after last summer which is something I should do in the fall and never feel like at the time... sound familiar?

I took the spade and started digging, the handle broke. Oh well, with a smile I lightly threw the spade to the side and grabbed the pitchfork to continue the digging and...the handle broke.
Hmm, no more digging-tools...I will chop the rest of the wood, still in a very good spring-mood. I grabbed the axe and brought it down on a log, whereupon the handle broke.

Oh well, the signs are all really pointing in only one direction here: Ironing!!! So I did go in to iron, with my jolly spring-mood intact, and it worked without a hitch.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The Warrior, The Mountain and The Monk


The warrior sat on a mound of stones atop the great mountain, his head in his hands and his chest still heaving with the exertion of the last stage of his climb.

His black hair, now flecked with grey, clung to his face just as his clothing stuck to his body from the combination of the perspiration that resulted from his recent efforts as well as the ever-present fog that had dogged his steps since he first began his ascent of the sacred mountain many days before.

Chain mail once as bright and shiny as a mirror was now caked in grime and dirt as well as patches of bright orange rust from the lack of the cleaning and oiling to which it was accustomed and his sword, whilst still serviceable showed signs that it had not been cared for for several days.

The warrior laughed inwardly as he thought about how his old swordmaster used to punish him for even the slightest speck of dust on his uniform and more severely still when his arms and armour were not properly cared for. He still recalled the long hours spent marching drill as punishment or, worse yet, cleaning out the latrines when his transgressions against the warriors code were deemed great.

If the swordmaster could see him now...

Thinking of the old man suddenly reminded the warrior of his quest and of the struggles and deprivations he'd endured and, suddenly as it had come, the faint smile that had creased face for the briefest instant was lost and replaced by the frown that had taken up residence a long time hence.

It hadn't always been this way, he reminded himself.

When he had set out on this quest those long years ago, he and his companions, warriors all, had been driven by an almost child-like excitement and sense of fun and adventure that seemed to give them boundless energy and focus. But that excitement had soon worn off.

Within a matter of weeks, three of his companions had been lost to rivers whose banks had swelled with the great flood and two more, fearful of the wrath of the water Gods, chose to return home, justifying their leaving by stating that it was better to live in a castle than die in the wilderness.

"Cowards" he said aloud to himself, still scornful and angry at the memory of their abandoning the quest so soon.

The warrior had remained steadfast and said to the others "We will continue with our quest for if we turn back then our friends have died for naught". His companions, in full agreement, rode on.

Months passed and three more companions were lost, this time to bandits and brigands who had lain in ambush to take by force that which they could not earn by honest labour. They had been routed by the warrior and his men yet still, the cost of victory had been a high one.

Two of his men said "We will go no further. We will return the bodies of the fallen to their loved ones back home and be thankful that our folly has allowed us to come so far and experience so much without harm to ourselves" and with that, they turned and left.

The warrior looked at his remaining men, now so few in number and said "We shall persevere, for to have come so far and risked so much and paid such a dear price, it makes no sense to abandon our quest and return home". His companions, in full agreement, rode on.

A year passed and at last they came upon a prosperous city where the streets were paved with gold and the people were dressed in cloth of the finest weave. Three more men the warrior lost to the quest when they decided to stay and build new lives for themselves in this paradise far from home and unlike any they had ever dreamed of.

"We will stay and raise families here" they said "for back home we were merely warriors at our lords pleasure, yet here we shall live like kings"

The warrior spoke then saying "True, as kings in riches and wealth ye shall be, yet knowing that you abandoned your true quest, I fear that you shall never know the true riches afforded only to those who finish what they start"

"We few shall continue, for we know that what lies before us is of greater value than all we have seen thus far combined" and saying so, the warrior and his remaining companions rode on.

A decade passed and the warrior now found himself utterly alone. His last companions had long since abandoned their quest and returned home leaving him to face the remainder of the journey and the hardship it entailed in silent misery.

Now, sitting atop this fog enshrouded mountain peak in total solitude, cold, wet, hungry and broken in both body and spirit the warrior considered his long quest and asked himself "Was it all worth it?"

And inside his own head the answer came, loud and clear.

"NO!"

The silent response echoed off the walls of his own mind until suddenly and completely unbidden the warrior found tears streaming from eyes swollen with moisture, followed by a raising of his broad shoulders into what he would eventually come to recognise as a sob, something he had not done since since he was a young child at his mothers knee.

"What a fool I have been" he declared to himself, then louder, shouting at the mountain that had finally broken his spirit and his heart. "WHAT A DAMNED FOOL I'VE BEEN!"

As he heard his curses echo through the valley below he became aware of a movement and then the briefest flash of orange presented itself a short distance away and beneath him on the stone strewn track, yet to this battle hardened warrior who had survived numerous violent encounters since leaving home, it was enough to bring every fibre of his being to full alertness.

As he reached for the sword at his belt and old yet kindly voice rang out of the fog. "Stay your hand my son, for we have come not to fight but to rejoice at your arrival for it has been long in coming"

Taken aback by the curious comment the warrior froze, his hand scant inches from the weapon, and peered into the thick impenetrable fog for a hint as to where the speaker may be. Another flash of orange, a blur of movement and mere seconds later there stood before him a group of orange clad monks with smiles that spread from ear to ear and a countenance that could only be described as joyful.

At the fore stood a monk, far older than the others with brown, weather beaten and parchment-thin skin that was wrinkled beyond belief yet sporting a smile that was bigger and warmer than any that the warrior could remember having seen in his entire life. Striding purposefully up to the warrior who was a full two heads taller than he, the old man took him in an embrace of genuine joy and care and said in a voice warm yet powerful and strong at the same time "Welcome to the sacred mountain, my son. We have been expecting you"

The warrior said nothing, yet, suddenly self conscious of the tears still running down his cheeks, raised a hand to wipe them away in a manner that, he hoped, would serve to disguise his moment of weakness.

Taking a small step backward yet remaining in physical contact with the tall warrior, the old man placed his hand on the bigger man's shoulder and stared into his eyes with a gaze that was at once gentler and yet more powerful than anything he had ever experienced before and immediately the warrior was aware that he stood in the presence of one who had peered into the soul of the world and had found enlightenment and peace as a result.

"Today is a joyous day, my son, and yet you stand here with tears of grief and sadness running down your face and shouting words of anger at the world. Your bitterness, anger and resentment shows clear to all who have eyes to see, yet now, after all these years, you stand at the threshold of your quest's completion.

Why does your heart ache so?"


The warrior closed his eyes, inhaled deeply then let out a sigh so deep and wearisome that even the smiles of the old man and his younger companions seemed to falter a little.

At last he spoke and, as he did so, he told of his journey and that of his companions, of the struggles they had faced, of the losses they had endured and of the pain, suffering, humiliation and feelings of despair that, finally and alone, only he was left to endure.

"And during all this" he said "I kept myself true to my quest because I believed that the soul of the world would reveal itself and bestow upon me its blessed bounty of peace, happiness and wisdom."

"I was a fool" he said "for now, here atop this highest of all mountains I see that no such prize exists and that this peak is nothing more than granite, flint and cold stone. I have wasted my life in search of a treasure that does not exist and seen good friends die as a result of my folly" The last he said quietly, almost a whisper as though he were too ashamed to say the words aloud.

The old man laughed a merry laugh and, with smiling eyes twinkling with good humor said to the warrior "My son, you have travelled long, you have travelled far and you have experienced much since you have left your home. Some of it you have called good, some you have called bad and much of it far more difficult and testing than you ever imagined it would be when you set out with your youthful excitement so many years ago.

You have learned much, my son, but though your eyes have gazed upon much that few men will ever see, you have yet to recognise the power, purpose or potential of any of it.

In focusing only on reaching this holy place you have missed many of the wonders and miracles that the soul of the world was trying to show you, choosing instead to fill your heart with bitterness and regret for what life has delivered unto you"


"Ha!" said the warrior contemptuously "You seem a kindly and good intentioned old man but you are wrong!"


"Long have I been on this path and much have I seen, it's true, but hardly any would qualify as wonders and miracles and much, as I have already told you, would be better described as disaster and tragedy" Then quietly, almost to himself he added "I see no miracle in watching good friends die or give up in despair"

"My son," said the old man, smiling once again "you see no miracles because you have not truly looked for them and yet, still, the miracles were present all along"

"Was it not a miracle that the soul of the world saw fit to bless you with friends who believed in you and trusted you to share in your adventure, even if only for a short time?"

"Was it not a miracle that you were strong enough and skilled enough to swim the swollen rivers that carried the spirit of your brothers home to the kingdom of the mothers and fathers and a miracle again that, in doing so, you learned never to repeat their mistakes when faced with nature's awesome power several times throughout your quest?"

"The warrior looked up, shocked "How..."

Holding up a wrinkled hand for silence, the old monk continued "Were you not in the presence of a miracle when your strength and skill with a blade saved the lives of your companions and yourself during more battles than you can remember and yet another still that you were present at the passing of those you loved, easing them in their passage to the next world?"

"Could you not sense the soul of the world at work when your closest friends, those who you thought had abandoned you, were blessed with the sure and certain knowledge that their own quests were over and that, at last, they could rest and enjoy life's plentiful bounty?"

"And, if not a miracle, how can you describe how your last remaining companions finally discovered that their own quests would be complete only once they arrived safely back home and in the arms of the families that love them?"


"But... this mountain" stammered the warrior, now less sure of himself and his experiences as he had been mere moments before "It is supposed to be a place of miracle and wonder yet I see none. Where are the miracles here, old man? For I see only rock and shale and this blasted fog, yet nothing to explain why I should have been called to walk this long, lonely path for these long years and why I needed to endure so much to get here "

The old man smiled an indulgent smile, placed his hand back upon the warrior's shoulder and said patiently, as if talking to a child "The miracles you have sought have been there for you to see from the very moment you stepped foot onto the mountain yet you were so caught up in your woes that you could not recognise them to register their presence"

"IMPOSSIBLE!" protested the warrior "I passed no wonders. I saw nothing special!"

"You never saw the field of dreams?" asked the old man "The yellow gold flowers there are beautiful, and you could have rested there a while and spoken to your lost companions and learned that they were happy and safe with the mothers and father but, you saw it not because your head was hung with grief and your mind clouded with dark thoughts over your loss"

The old man waved a hand and the fog shimmered then disappeared revealing a bright golden field at the foot of the mountain far below, and right next to the very path that the warrior had trodden.

His eyes widened and he went as if about to speak, but the old man continued "You never saw the pool of healing? Its warm, crystal clear waters could have served to rejuvenate you in both body and mind yet your eyes were cast to the floor and you were cursing the very stones under your feet for an imagined conspiracy to trip you and so you walked right on by and never noticed a thing"

Once again, he waved his hand and once again the fog parted parted to reveal a turquoise pool of stunning beauty situated halfway up the mountain and within a mere arm's length from the path he had climbed.

"And here, atop this great peak at the roof of the world, did you not see the mirror of wisdom? Had you but looked you would have found a way to learn secrets known only to the soul of the world and found a way to ever lasting peace. Yet instead, you placed your attentions in the past and chose to pick at the scabs of wounds that should have long since healed and, in doing so, missed it entirely."

One last time the old man waved his hand and the dense fog that shrouded the mountain top faded, slowly at first and then faster until finally it was gone altogether.

The warrior looked around the mountaintop on what was now a beautiful, sunny and warm summers day and saw, to his amazement, that not 3 yards from where he stood was a simple yet elegant mirror that stood twice as tall as and shwing a reflection of the rugged peak itself.

"How could I have missed so much?" said the now bemused warrior as he took in the majestic views from his high vantage point.

The old man smiled "It is the nature of men" he said "to see every obstacle they encounter as something set to rob them of what they seek when, in reality, each obstacle is nothing more than a a chance to decide upon the true value of what you are seeking. If worth much you will breach the obstacle, if little, why then, you will turn back.

It is not good. It is not bad. It just is."


The warrior felt truth in the old man's words and suddenly, as if a giant hand had reached into the very core of his being, a tremendous weight was lifted from his heart.

The old man continued "It is the nature of men to see each struggle that they engage in as a battle that someone else must lose in order that they may win when, in truth, the struggle is nothing more than conditioning to strengthen us for what we must yet endure.

As you have had to exercise your arm and shoulders every day in order to wield your great sword with strength and skill in combat, so too have you been given the opportunity to gain the strength of body, mind and spirit required to reach this sacred place"


The warrior smiled as he thought of all the struggles that had been visited upon him and yet how much stronger he was now than he had been at the start of this great quest. He realised that whilst he had chosen to focus on his suffering for so long, that joy had never been very far from him and he he had only to have bothered to look to have seen it with his own eyes.

"I've been a fool"
he said with a smile and, as he did so, he felt that great hand reach inside once more and he physically staggered as the burden of sadness that he had carried for so long was finally lifted from him.

Realising what the warrior was going through and experiencing, the old man smiled and continued with his lesson "It is the nature of men to experience fear upon thinking of what may or may not become in the future and to experience resentment when that future does not turn out as planned or hoped for. Yet with each fear comes the opportunity to demonstrate faith and belief in what may yet come to be and with each resentment the opportunity to demonstrate gratitude for the gifts already bestowed.

This is the way of love"
said the old man, still smiling.

"Love" repeated the warrior and, as he did so, he recognised yet more truth coming from the old man. "No, not from" he corrected himself "through" for it was clear now that the soul of the world was speaking with him now through the spirit and body of the old man before him.

Suddenly thankful of the opportunity to experience and overcome each and every fear that had visited upon him since leaving home, the warrior became aware of its opposite; a deep and powerful love of life and a thankfulness that threatened to overwhelm him completely with tears of the purest joy.

And at last, as the final burden of fear left him, the warrior, after years of journeying, fighting, struggling and heartache found his miracle...

...and realised, just as the old man had said, it had been with him all the time had he but looked for it.

He turned to the old man with fresh tears rolling down his cheeks and a smile of the greatest joy and saw that the old man was now bowing from the waist with his hands pressed together before his face.

"Rak Due Kwam Jing Jai" said the abbot of the temple of the soul of the world to the warrior in a reverent tone that intimated something of significance was being said.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand" replied the warrior.

"It is the name of the miracle that you have sought for so long and that which you have just experienced" said the old man.

"It means 'truth, joy and love' and with it you now possess the answer to every question you could ever ask and the solution to every problem you could ever face"

The warrior turned to face the great mirror that stood behind him and peered at a reflection years younger than the one he had seen that morning in the reflection of the stream as he bathed. Trying his mouth around the words the abbot had uttered just moments before, the warrior said aloud "Rak Due Kwam Jing Jai" and as he did so he finally understood... everything!

At that moment the man, now no longer a warrior, for he had no need to be, did something that he hadn't done for more than ten long years.

He laughed.

A deep, hearty, joyous laugh full of love and gratitude.

And the soul of the world smiled.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Magic of Spring


I went into the forest today. The sun was shining from a clear blue sky, and there was a scent of spring in the air. As I was walking I heard the sound of wild geese approaching, so I stopped and looked into the sky. And there they were, thousands upon thousands of wild geese. They just kept coming. Over my head every new group flew a circle before continuing on their way. Every now and then I saw the sun glisten of their bodies. The beauty and power of the drama was intense and tears streamed down my cheeks. I felt infinite hope and peace and a whole new trust for my future.

In the collective cries of the many thousands of wild geese, I could hear the one voice of infinity. Calm and strong, the words barely decipherable. I think I will know them this night in my dreams.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Immortality vs pain


People always speak of pain and death, but never of immortality

Why?

Is pain and death easier to believe/accept in society than immortality?

Who said you were going to own your body forever...and who said you were not forever?

Everything is not pain, there is much pleasure. But apparently pain is more attractive to peoples beliefsystems.

I believe in butterflies, eternity and Tinkerbell. Never-never-land is there forever and laughter never goes out of style.
Love is a human right and pain just something to remind us of all that we tend to forget in our valiant struggle for glory. Tears are there to wash out our souls and leave them sparkling and, if we are very careful, the rainbow will take us to "the other side" - wherever that is.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Eternity


Sometimes I can feel the memories of my past. I can actually smell, taste and feel them inside. And I wonder what happened to some of all the dreams?
Sitting in an attic, emancipated and literary, the floor littered with books by Kafka, Dostojevski, Anaïs Nin, Hemingway...All of us young and dressed in black, drinking wine and smoking exotic cigarettes in the cold, huddled around a heater...The evening spent at the intellectual hang-out of the time, the night given over to heated discussions and love-making. A sort of romancing of a time already past. Youthful excuberance solving the political problems of the day....vibrant...and naïve.

Basically the feeling of constant beginnings and never any endings. Everything NOW, NOW, NOW!!! Beauty, passion, dreams, belief. And most of all; the possibilities past any boundaries. I am still that girl. No longer so naïve, the beginnings have turned to the middle part...the part before the end. But there is no difference in my excuberance; my tears burn as hot as then, my passions as strong. And my belief in possibilities past any boundaries have remained as strong and stronger through all the disapointments and triumphs of life. My body might age, but my soul has hardly drawn its first breaths.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Poverty


Poverty has a lot of different levels depending on what country you live in and your own standard of living. Everybody always feel they need more. In these shaky economic times I hear a lot of recession-panic in peoples talk. But when I look around me, I see enormous wealth. Flashy cars, huge houses, overflowing shopping-carts, people carrying pretty shopping-bags with expensive labels on them. These are apparently the people who are hit the worst by recession - I can't see it. For other people; the ones who shop in the cheap places, do their hair at home, live in small houses, drive little used cars, they are not touched by the recession except for two things: rent and employment. As long as that is stable, nothing really changes, you need money to feel recession.
I went to a conference where it was said; (quote) "We will have to lower our standard of living and accept that our grown children might need to move back home" (end of quote)
The lowered standard of living is way higher than any normal standard.
For my friend the cleaning lady, nothing changed. She is "cheap" labour, so people keep her on. To her it is necessary that her 2 adult children live at home, that is how they manage to pay their bills.

Okay, I am pushing buttons here. Personally I don't really have an opinion about what people choose to do. My opinions consider larger questions, such as the philosophy of things.

Poverty/affluence vs. respect.
Interesting topic. The biggest fear of most people is poverty, loosing it all. Poverty is difficult, poverty is shameful.
The richer a person seems/looks, the more respect he gets....no denying that. The poorer a person seems/looks, the less he is respected. This never fails to astonish me; Since being poor is so difficult that everybody fears it, there should be great respect for the people who handle it, even if they have no choice.
Cleverness has nothing to do with education, nor does survival. Being able to feed a large family on almost no money is to be respected. To work a shit-job that wears you down mentally and physically day after day is to be respected. To dance and sing when you are hungry and sick is to be respected. To walk on sore feet for miles because it is necessary is to be respected.

I am not rich, I am not even affluent - considering the society I live in. But I am lucky and I am comfortable. I am not always safe, but I am clever and strong. I can always make it because I am not afraid to work hard. Sometimes, when I ride the train, (from the train you always see the worst adresses/places of living.) I look at the housing of the poor people, those who have nothing, and I am so greatful for what I have. I imagine myself and my 4 children in a 1 or 2 room appartment. I look at the yard where my children would be forced to play, and think that from this, the worst place, I would be evicted if I could not pay my rent, if I lost my job. That this, the worst place, could be considered heaven.
This must be the worst situation of all.
I give thanks for my abundance, even if it is small. I give thanks for the food I eat, the roof over my head, the song in my heart and the health of my children. Every day I stop and realize my gratitude. And every day I watch the "invisible" people with great respect.

Monday, January 26, 2009

MARIA


The last days I have met many different women, all of them fascinated me with their stories. It seems to me that women can bear so much of everything and see it as natural. Today I want to tell you about Maria:
She is an old lady that I massage sometimes; she is 88 years old, she was born the same year that females were given the right to vote in Sweden. Old pictures show a drop-dead-gorgeous woman, the woman I touch and listen to looks like any old woman - there is only a slight hint of her youthful beauty. What is striking are her eyes; they carry all the wisdom, joy and pain of a lifetime. She has had a hard life, this woman. She has known the biggest and truest love, given birth only to lose her child, danced and made love through the night, nursed her ailing husband. When she was young, she broke her hips but would not give up wearing pretty high-heeled shoes - no matter how much pain she sometimes experienced. She is animated when she speaks, her eyes glow, her cheeks turn pink. She is excited about the liberty women have today, and worried about how they sometimes use it.
Womens right is the result of generations' struggle for existence, acceptance and freedom. The freedom women experience today is something women once died for. (Not much different from the war against apartheid.) We must never forget what went before that what we take for granted. All the little old wrinkled ladies around us helped pave the road for us, and they should all be honoured and respected.

Wikipedia says:

Voting rights for women were introduced into international law in 1948 when the UN adopted the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. As stated in Article 21 “(1)Everyone has the right to take part in the government of his country, directly or through freely chosen representatives. (3)The will of the people shall be the basis of the authority of government; this will shall be expressed in periodic and genuine elections which shall be by universal and equal suffrage and shall be held by secret vote or by equivalent free voting procedures.”

Women’s suffrage is also explicitly stated as a right under the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women, adopted by the United Nations in 1979.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Agelessness

The pressure is on! Tuck your tummy, sagging breasts? - fill 'em up. Crows feet, sagging jowls...? - tighten, stretch, vanish. Plump up, play down. Stay 20 forever and ever and ever...It is easy, available, done and expected. How can you NOT? I suppose my aging, 4-times-mom, saggy and wrinkled self draws more stares of concern than if it was "done-over"...hahaha
BUT, I can grow old, looking eternally (at least partly) young, suffering through pain and debilitation because of bad habits or laziness.

NOT ME! I am growing old with all what it entails, I fight to not succumb to the pipe-dream and concentrate on keeping what I have in fabulous working order. When I am truly old, I shall be the fastest rocking mama on this planet, shaking my wrinkled booty in time with the beat.

Check this out:

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Nourishment



We need to take a look at how and what we are eating. So many people who come to me - slightly desperate, are often malnourished. Isn't it amazing how many people are overweight and obese, have problems with; concentration, sleep, hormones, digestion, emotions...the list goes on forever. I have been watching this development for 20 years. It took me some time to realize that much of it is connected to foods and eating-habits. "We are what we eat" doesn't mean that we become pigs for eating pork, it is more about health and balance. Our bodies are extremely well-developed constructions, able to adapt to almost anything. (I believe the only other species that do this are rats and cockroaches...what can I say...)
Anyway, our bodies have certain needs, and they are quite simple; oxygene, water and nourishment...these three govern everything. Now this is all polluted, and we thrive anyways. Our bodies find ways to handle the toxins that come into our systems - to a certain point. When the amount of toxins become to large, the body slowly starts breaking down. And with body is included the brain = emotions, memory, hormones, concentration, learning...the list is vast. So much of the food people eat today is full of chemicals that are bad or outright dangerous. Much foods have no nutritious value at all. Many people don't even know how to cook a simple meal.
Check out this video on additives in foodstuffs and tell me if you are prepared to feed this to yourself and your children.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPvIZxJHyeY

Monday, January 5, 2009

Charitability


Why is generosity so widely spoken of around Christmas and then forgotten? People tend to be more generous with their charitability around Christmas. Maybe they have a bad conscience about all the money spent on (honestly!) ridiculous things? Expensive ridiculous things, I might add. So a bit of the green goes to somebody needy; a person on the street, a Santa collecting for Ethiopia. I think it is usually a spur-on-the-moment thing during shopping. x100Euros in the shoppingmall, some coins for Burundi.
"Generosity elevates us all"
Yes, such an easy way to feel good about yourself. But true generosity doesn't happen only around Christmas, it is there all year around. And it is not always about giving some of your hard-earned cash. Sometimes it is a deed or a thought or time. Next time that old person starts talking to you while you are waiting, don't walk away - stop and listen. That is charity. You might have made his/hers lonely day a little bit brighter. Next time your friend calls you in sadness, stop and listen. Give yourself and everybody else a little bit of time. Take time to experience. Stop and see the smile of gratitude on the lady's face when you helped her with her bag. (Actually, stop and help her with the bag) Stop and see the joy in an old man's face because you gave him a smile. Stop and watch the world around you, show your children how to be charitable by being it yourself. Charitability and kindness is infectious, it carries much further than one simple act, and each simple act creates a never-ending flow of simple acts.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Time


Time must be the trickiest player of all. It has a life and a will of its own. We measure it, control it, decide over it and plan it...but it doesn't function that way, does it?
When we are waiting or unhappy or in pain time slows down to a barely noticable crawl. Even if we try to fill the time with things to do, it doesn't go any faster, but we get more done in this time than would seem normally possible.
When we are in a hurry, stressed, excited or having fun...time flies. Before we know it the time is up and we hardly got started.
I have spent 1 and a half day in a time-crawl because I was sad and angry. At one point I couldn't stand it anymore and decided to let it go since I could do nothing about it. It was anyway out of my control. The second I made the decision, time started going back to normal (not fast, just normal) and I got through the long horrific day without too much pain.
I don't know if I am as good at slowing down time. When I enjoy something/someone I am so constantly and fully in the moment, so time somehow ceases to matter.

So what does this mean? Time is the one thing we are really agreed on that it is controlled, and we find that it is not. So don't ever think that there is such a thing as control. Go with the flow, loosen up and allow yourself to be all there. Remember....time flies...

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Unconditional love


I love very strongly. I don't expect much in return, but I do expect respect. That is not as simple as it seems. I know a man who spoke to me of unconditional love. For me it is about accepting another person as they are. Of sharing love, confidences and truths or beliefs, also sad or hard times. To my friend unconditional love means freedom to do, think and act as one pleases and as long as one does not aim to hurt, there is no responsibility for anyone but the self. If someone else gets hurt along the way - tough shit, their problem.
I love very much. Each person, just like myself, carries something screwy in their character. I can see it and I respect it. It might not be pleasing to me, but it is part of the person whom I love. It would be so easy if you could love only the "right" person. I always try to understand no matter how hard it seems sometimes; I have been screamed at, abused and hurt, still I stay - not because I am a fool or a looser, but because I am a winner, the one who has the guts to transgress. Only a fool will not accept love.
Yes, it is hurtful to be on the receiving end, but it may also be a lesson in character. If you speak anything that does not fit the picture, you are cast out and if you love deeply this might be very painful. But then again, if you are not allowed to voice your worries or fears....are you then really loved? If you are gagged by fear of loss, do you feel loved? The one who says you matter should be able to hold you in their arms for a while until whatever unrest has passed. Parent to child, lover to lover, friend to friend. And if this is not so, at the end of the day, it might be better to face the pain than allow yourself being controlled by another being. Allow the healing tears to fall and know that you are worth more...and that at one point this will come.